The Grae Area is a series that tackles Morality (what’s right and wrong) and everything in between. After my part 1, part 2 and the HWWV posts I’ve decided to tackle into deeper detail what really happened and how I decided that enough was enough.
This is going to be downright honest so expect swear words when I deem them necessary because let’s face it, you really can’t trust someone who doesn’t cuss when he/she wants to.
After all the random info graphs and humor in my previous posts, I want to go into record saying that I do not condone revenge. It’s different for everyone. If you can hold out and be patient, go ahead but do so without looking like a complete and defenseless wuss because if you do, people will just keep abusing you.
It’s important to understand that not everyone deserves forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you should just go out waging war, but it also means that you can ignore people who hurt you until you deem it necessary to put them in their place.
Let’s start today’s post with this quote: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” -Alexander Hamilton
I have what I call the unofficial revenge and forgiveness checklist. It’s basically a checklist on how I decide what to do with a person’s betrayal, whether I let the incident go or light the cannons, holster your guns and start the path to retribution.
It’s unconventional (since Christianity teaches us to not only blindly forgive but to be a total weirdo and offer your other cheek for slapping) but i believe that in order to be forgiven, you need to do something to earn said forgiveness. I don’t have any respect for anyone who doesn’t admit when he’s wrong and own up to it. Respect should be given to people who deserve them.
Why did my checklist involve ten items? Because these are the most important premises that influence my decisions to forgive or fight back.
For the two incidents I presented, the office incident and the HWWV one, I have tallied the results:
Office – 9/10 NO (Things got better after a while because I was already optimistic and plotting my revenge at the end of my stay there.)
HWWV – 9/10 NO but I will get into further details:
- What it unintentional (accident)? NO. It was downright intentional. You don’t just accidentally send Facebook profiles of people you are planning to pimp. She knew my husband was married since she was my “close friend” first. Aside from this, she concocted different versions to make it seem like he was the aggressor and she was merely a tool used.
- Was the offense a minor one? In the beginning yes. My husband didn’t even think about it afterward and he never chatted her after. However, when she “confessed” to my best friend about the incident, she started with a lie. The lie developed even further when he asked follow-up questions regarding the incident. Because of the elaborated lies, it’s a big NO.
- Did the person admit to doing it? NO. Even when logic escaped her lies, she chose to “die with the lie” and pretend she didn’t do anything wrong. Imagine, even after hearing the story from my husband (out of the horse’s mouth) and reading their “confrontation” in Facebook chat, there was still a possibility that “nothing happened”? Then why did it bother her so much to talk to my best friend about it? Sigh. Lie after lie.
- Did the person apologize/make amends? NO. I told her I was open to talking about it if she was willing to be honest about the whole thing but she just flew out of Cebu and never really talked about it. Next thing I knew, she was making up more stories about me.
- Were you two the only people involved? NO. Well, the obvious involvement of my husband and best friend, as well as the people she told the lies to.
- Did the person tell the truth? NO. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is probably the first time I’m writing a *laugh* in my blog but I can’t help it. So many lies. She even CRIES while she LIES. Pathological liar 101.
- Did the person promise to never commit the same mistake? YES. Sort of. But promises from a pathological liar?
- Did the person keep his/her promise? NO. What does one expect from a pathological liar?
- Did things get better after a while? NO. Things got worse. Which is why I acted.
- Did you work through your differences? NO. How can you work through differences with someone who goes between denying it ever happened and lying about the incident?
Do I have any words? Well, Pathological liars, people who cry when they lie and the like will never admit to anything because they live in a world of delusion. I didn’t even realize it until the one that got me upset happened. But ah well, we must go through this, mustn’t we?
I originally had a letter written out but I don’t really care anymore so. Bye. This is the last of that.
I realize that I hinted about this incident in one of my previous posts.
There are still 2 parts more and I’ll be talking about Karma, Office revenge, forgiveness and inner peace. I can finally lay this issue to rest.
Again, I mentioned no names and I defamed no person. Facts are facts.
This is the last time I’m gonna talk about that person. I’ll just put this all behind me and redirect all inquiries to parts 1, 2, 2.5 and 3. Again, I appreciate everyone who has been very supportive and understanding through this ordeal. I’m fine now. I’m happy I have people who truly cared for me when I was in the darkness. You guys know who you are. ^_^